Once a couple becomes pregnant, no matter how long they have been trying or if they haven’t been trying, something happens. Especially with that mother. She feels all sorts of things, emotionally and physically and much more.
When a couple loses a baby, no matter how long they have been pregnant or if they were or weren’t able to hold the baby, something happens. Especially to that mother. She feels all kinds of things, emotionally and physically and much more.
The world is set up for the mother of the successful pregnancy to make it, to know she’s not alone and to be accepted into the sacred group that is motherhood. There are numerous places and groups for her to join to help her along her path.
The second group, the unsuccessful pregnancy or the unsuccessful journey to become pregnant, they don’t have numerous places or a groups to fall into. A group does naturally form though. It’s a confused, angry, sad group of mom’s, or women who long to me mothers. A group who has experienced great loss. A group that imagines what their children would have looked like. What would they have done? Who would they have been? A quote that many of them can relate to, “Jesus, I wanted to sit my babies on my lap and tell them all about you. As I can’t now do that. Will you sit them on your knee and tell them about me?” Every mother who has lost a baby has faced this horrible reality. The reality that her baby won’t be with her.
This group is left with all the questions and emotions and still have to sit in the same waiting rooms with all the other moms who haven’t met the same fate. In the same offices where all the literature that is at arm’s length is about how to breast feed, what to do about your prenatal sciatica and all the different ways you can get your infant to sleep. They are told that it happens and that it’s common. Even after multiple losses. This is true. It is very common. One in 4 pregnancies will end in a miscarriage and 7.5 million women age 15-44 have an impaired ability to get pregnant or carry a baby to term. Stillbirth effects 23,600 babies each hear. That is 1 in 160 pregnancies.
What isn’t common is talking about it. What isn’t common is an atmosphere where this group can know they aren’t alone, where they can still feel like a normal person. There should be more than one place where this group can go, to help them along their path. Instead this path is a lonely one.
Hannah’s Wish in a faith based group that will give this group a voice. It will let them know they aren’t alone and help them to move forward. It all starts with having a safe place where you can find help if you need it. A safe place to hear from ones who have been through it and who have been able to look back, and can give some insight. This can give hope. Hannah’s Wish Is a peer led group, where networking with others who have been there can lead to all kinds of opportunities. It all starts with a safe place to share.