Hi, I’m Jenna Wright and I am honored to be able to be here today to speak to you. I am a part of this club that no one wants to be a part of, but once you join you are surrounded by love and support. I want to share a quote with you all that I love. “When a baby is born it is the mother’s instinct to protect that baby; when a baby dies it is that mother’s instinct to protect that baby’s memory.” That is an unknown quote and I’d like to change it a little today to include the dads. And say, it is a parent’s instinct to protect that baby’s memory when a baby does not make it. Not matter the length of time, that is our deepest desire, that somebody knows that we had a baby who mattered when they aren’t here today.
I have living children and one is old enough to be in school. When she is at school and someone starts to talk to me about babies or kids…I ALWAYS bring her up. She’s not there in that moment and I have that desire for them to know that she exists. Why wouldn’t we do the same for the ones we’ve lost. They matter just as much, they existed. That is what you are doing here today, honoring the memory of these sweet babies.
I remember after all 3 of my miscarriages I wanted someone to know. I would start talking about it to the grocery store checkout lady, or someone I just met at a class party for my oldest. Everyone who knew already knew, and it was my strongest desire to tell someone that I had a baby, heard a heartbeat or held in my hand, a baby that mattered. I know that’s what we all desire. So, I was the lady who talked about my losses to strangers. I’m sure we have all been there in one way or another.
Today we don’t have to do that! These things we have been through have rocked us to our core and it can make you feel alone in the biggest of crowds. Today you don’t have to feel alone.
Even if it’s just for one day. This crowd knows your pain and loves you and you are NOT ALONE! This crowd gets it!
I don’t know what it took for you to get here today. For me it takes a quiet strength. I call it that because it feels like it’s barely there. When I think of it though I see that quiet strength throughout this entire journey.
The quiet delivery rooms
The quiet OR
The quiet bathroom in someone’s home
The quiet ultrasound
The quiet nurse; The quiet doctor
The quiet strength of a dad who doesn’t know what to do right away and is trying to keep everyone together, who will one day know exactly what to do.
The quiet beautiful strength of mom, who is falling apart and barley able to breathe, who will one day use her pain to help someone else. No matter how big or small that help may be.
I see that quiet strength in all of you here today.
I’m sure each of your mornings have looked different. Whether it was crazy and loud with other children, or a quiet morning full of fear, I want to commend you for coming today and for making the time to spend remembering your babies. Life gets busy and we move forward, and these days are hard.
Thank you for coming and for using that quiet strength to pick yourselves up, even if it’s just for today, to remember your babies in a way that matters.
I wanted to thank Joni for asking me to speak today. I met Joni when my husband and I started a non-profit called Hannah’s Wish. We are a Christian organization that provides meals to people who have had a loss. We also have several support groups on the South side of Indianapolis. Our main goal is to love people and let them know that God did not forget them.
We each have a story and it’s when we are feeling the most FORGOTTEN and LOST that He’s doing the most work.
There is a Christian song writer you may have heard of. Her name is Lauren Daigle. In her latest song she writes this.
You are not hidden
There’s never been a moment
You were forgotten
You are not hopeless
Though you have been broken
Your innocence stolen
I hear you whisper underneath your breath
I hear your SOS, your SOS.
The song goes on to say,
“I will send out an army to find you in the middle of the darkest night, it’s true I will RESCUE YOU.”
You might be wondering, “What army?” Look around. You are that army, you are some of the strongest people I know. God is in each one of you. I feel like we have all rescued one another throughout this journey by sharing our stories, sharing our babies. God did not forget you, He loves you.
I want to encourage you today to take these moments, slow them down and cherish them. Today we are parenting the babies we’ve lost, and they are not forgotten.