Asking for help is hard. As I am going through this journey that is Hannah’s Wish, I am realizing that the Doctor’s offices will have information for you. You have to ask it seems. Am I the only one who wasn’t offered any information? The last time I lost a baby I was escorted into what, I suppose, is a loss room. It’s a small room with a recliner for the mom to sit in while the Dr. talks to you. I was in there a while, and no information was given to me about any support group or help. My doctor’s office says they work closely with the hospital bereavement program that they are affiliated with. Why wasn’t I given anything right away about that? Was I the only one? I’m starting to feel maybe I was. I called both my old doctor’s office and my new one today, and they were both happy to pass me along to the bereavement program. It was very quick and they didn’t want to talk about it much longer. It was just enough time to give me the information. When asked about passing out the information at one office, I was told “It depends.” Depends on what? She quickly clammed up and told me they work closely with the bereavement program. Is information given though? In my case I had to ask. I never asked though, I had my husband do it after three losses.
Once again I’m lead down a very hush-hush path. Go here, say this, knock three times. Why isn’t it black and white? Why isn’t there one clear course of action on what to do? The hospital does extend help if you make it in for a D&C. Why didn’t I get anything from my regular office though, am I the only one? A lot of women never go to the hospital. So many questions. Things I hope to find out through Hannah’s wish.
One of my biggest goals is to help providers give their patients information. Even if they claim to work closely with the hospital, I was not given any information after any of my three losses. That is not okay and I know I’m not the only one. I am committed to getting that information to the provider, then to the patient so they can connect with us. We can be another option, because having one option that they rarely promote is not serving all of their patients. The pregnancies that end are more common than the ones that make it. When you leave the office after you find out your are pregnant you are sent with a giant bag of information and places to plug into. When you leave the office after a loss, you leave with nothing. That is my story and the story of many others. We can do better!
Asking for help was hard for me. I didn’t ask because I was hurting and confused. No one thought to extend any information to me unless I was getting a D&C. I was just trying to survive at that point and joining a group was the last thing on my mind. So, my experience was very lonely. I’d like to know, was I the only one?